January 21, 2013

into the year twenty thirteen

i'm stuck on repeat.

lately i've been having that old familiar feeling of being stuck in a rut, you know, like my days are on an endless repeat setting. it is the 9-5 lifestyle that perpetuates this feeling. admittedly there is a small number of outside factors that affects this as well but mostly it's having the same schedule everyday with little variance. most days, by the time i'm out of work, i don't want to do anything but to scurry home and smoke the good herb and clear my head of any and everything that's on my mind, in order to relax.....

but mind you even that relaxation comes with a price, and now said "relaxation activity" has become part of that same daily routine that is resulting in me feeling like i'm starring in my own Groundhogs Day movie.

so in saying that, my hopes for myself for this new year is that i'll be able to identify and break a lot of bad habits, and to be more active in my own life, as silly as it sounds.. i can't say exactly when but i do realize there was a point where i think i just gave up because i felt like i wasn't in control of anything any more. but shit won't change and shit won't happen if you yourself don't actively pursue whatever it is you're looking for in life.

bye bye 2012, hello 2013.


3 comments:

Hanna Scott said...

I hope you get out of your rut soon...I know that feeling all too well. sometimes even a walk outside my neighborhood after work changes my ENTIRE perspective when I'm feeling that way. good luck!

Erin M said...

Yeah, I get into that same 9-5 rush home to smoke rut. Then, I don't do any of the things I want to do. Definitely making the effort to change that.

Hannah W. said...

ahhhh it's always comforting to know i'm not alone... :D thank yous :) i'm trying... it doesn't help that my roommate is also my dealer... lol