judgment call

i realize everyone's got their own path to take in life, yet sometimes i can't help but feel like... shit. why do people get married and start families? why do people "grow up" and do adult things like buying houses? i don't want any part of that - but when i see family and friends my age beginning to do these things, i feel like a silly little kid. (which i'll always be at heart, because i don't think i'm emotionally capable of "growing up").

it's not people my age moving into the next phase of their lives that bothers me (well a little bit maybe). it's my self-consciousness regarding them. how do they view me and my choices in life? do they see me as some kind of a failure because i failed to choose the same path in life as they did? i usually try not to let other people's thoughts and opinions influence mine, and try not to let judgmental people affect me in any way, and try to be confident about the choices i have made and will be making in the future in regards to my life (it is, afterall, MY life), yet i can't help questioning myself every once in awhile when someone or something comes along to disturb the careful balance i thought i had finally attained in my mind.