Going super Emo/Myspace on you

i wish i had the power to stop time; i would have my life paused on this one particular night/day, to relive over and over again whenever i wanted.

i wish i had more to say.

sometimes i remember who i used to be compared to who i am today and i wonder whether i am better off now or was better off then. but does it matter either way? because i will never be who i was, but who i am now and will continue to change to be who i will be, never again who i was.

i hate that i always want what i can't have, and never what i can have. it's no fun when it's too easy. does this mean i'll always be pining after what i cannot have? or will i someday settle for what i can have? and will that be giving up on my part, or coming to terms with reality? and when i do, will i be content?

but there are times when i do end up attaining that which seems unattainable; then i guess it was never unattainable to begin with. so then am i attaining what i really wanted if i'm supposedly wanting what's unattainable? what is it that i really want?

a lot of times i'm surprised by what i want but that's a good thing. i know what i want but it's always changing.