January 21, 2012

snow day

winter this year in philadelphia has been generally mild and unusually warm compared to all winters before, and i thought i wasn't going to see any snow this year but i was wrong.  i couldn't sleep until 5:30AM last night so i was at my computer doing stupid things and wasting time; i remember looking out the window, going back to unimportant matters on the computer, and then looking up again a couple hours later to see snow flurries and the street covered in about 2 inches of snow. the city is so pretty and peaceful at night, and watching snow falling in the dead of the night was a treat.

i've been watching the show sex and the city again. watching this show, as well as being in a relationship at the moment, makes me wonder: are relationships worth all that stress and drama it usually entails (at least in the beginning)? if so, how can one differentiate whether it's worth it or not with each new relationship one decides to pursue? as much as i don't want to admit it, and as much as i deny caring about my age because i believe age ain't nuffin' but a numba, the older we get the more we want to invest in relationships that'll be worthwhile... i'm sure it's not everyone, but for me personally i no longer want to waste time with someone i know there is no future with. i feel that i'm done with being with someone for the sake of having someone beside me. i want a relationship that'll mean something to me at the end of my life, i want a relationship that'll change me as a person, help me grow and learn something about myself. even if we don't last, even if it isn't love everlasting, as long as there was real substance at the end of it, it would have been worth my time.

with dating, there's always that early period when it's still a little awkward because new relationships are basically two people trying to get on the same page, transitioning from thinking about "me, me, me" to "him, him, him" (or "her, her, her") and "us, us, us". but what makes that awkward transition stage worth it is that sweet thrill of knowing there's someone out there who thinks about you just as much as you do them, and the joy that comes from discovering a priceless connection between you and the significant other.

anyways... bye.

1 comment:

Diana said...

enjoy the snow, love. enjoy it with your love, love.
satc...classic. in search of a "core shaking" relationship?
being with someone just to feel less alone is the worst. There's always something missing, and there's always excuses to compensate for the lack of emotional substance...I should know.
Relationships are tough, romantic ones as well as non.
anywhooo go to bed you night owl!
hahaha. cheers to priceless connections :)