old habits die hard

things i need to stop doing post-alcohol consumption:

• questioning people regarding their sexual orientation ("ARE YOU GAY OR STRAIGHT?!!!")
• hugging/hanging on to people (because who wants a drunk person hanging off their backs)
• asking people for cigarettes (when i used to be a smoker, i hated people who did this.. buy your own goddamn pack! plus it's detrimental to your health.)
• driving (dui is bad news all around)
• thinking everyone is my best friend (obviously not)
• chugging whatever's handed to me (ew, gross).

i was thinking about my past and present drinking habits and i realized how far i've come. the level of ridiculousness has gone down quite a bit. i was a good girl and didn't drink until i went to college. i kind of went way overboard in the beginning. around this time, i used to go running away from everyone when i was drunk. people would get worried but i didn't care - i would run away from my friends and try to hide somewhere. i am so thankful for friends that put up with this because i was really annoying, running around like an idiot.

then i went through a stage where once i was drunk, i would bawl my eyes out and dampen the mood for everyone. and spill all my troubles and secrets to people. but then the next day i wouldn't remember anything, except my makeup would be gone and my eyes would be swollen from crying so much. everyone thought i was a freaking psycho. this usually happened after vodka+red bull concoctions. i have also apparently tried to jump off a second story balcony. um, i definitely had issues! this was after breaking up with my first long term boyfriend.

i would also get drunk and have to pee really bad, so i would do it in the street. i was in an alley with a shady hispanic man watching but i didn't care at the time. i also peed through my stockings and fell really hard on my ass. i didn't remember the fall but for the next couple of days i was in pain from a bruised tail bone. there's another moment where i combined all three habits: i was running away from my friends, and two friends were chasing after me, and i thought i had lost them, so i started peeing in the bushes, only to realize they were hiding behind cars watching me, which prompted me to start crying hysterically.

i would also pass out from pre-gaming too much (hah idiot). i passed out at a bar after arriving, so i got kicked out and someone had to take me back to their apartment. i threw up and spit all over someone's room/bedspread. and another time i passed out outside after attempting to go to this local bar (and getting denied for being too drunk) and my roommate had to call this guy to carry me up the stairs to our apartment because i was basically dead.

so i guess compared to these things, my list up there isn't too bad. could it be that i have finally mastered the art of moderation? in any case i hate alcohol. legalize marijuana! :P